You Better Run If You Flash Me: Three Times I was Flashed And Why It Was Sexual Assault

Showing your erect penis to female strangers while you wank is not harmless fun — it’s an assault.

Showing genitals to strangers seems to be a peculiarly male pastime. I don’t think I have ever heard of a situation whereby a woman openly approached an unknown man in order to masturbate in front of him while displaying her vagina. ‘Flashing’ as it’s referred to seems to be something only men do.

Calling it ‘flashing’ seems a misnomer because usually it is not just a ‘flash of cock’ — it’s usually accompanied by desperate sweaty masturbation. If you perform this sexual behavior around me — you better run. I consider it sexual assault and I will respond aggressively to you because I am sick of sexual assault by men.

1. The First Time I Was Flashed I Was A Young Girl

When I was a young girl we lived in a house that had an enormously long back garden because it back into a railway track. The first time I was ‘flashed’ I had been walking along the footpath that led across that railway tracks, because on the other side were some shops. I was about 9 years old and I was walking to the post office to collect my mothers’ child benefit allowance.

I had never seen an erect penis before. It was terrifying that this happened, because when an adult man approaches you with his erect penis visible, it is confusing upsetting and dangerous. Here I am now over forty years later with a clear memory of the fear and panic his actions caused. I ran as fast as I could — but towards the shops. This meant when I had collected the child benefit I had to then have the terrifying ordeal of returning back over the railway tracks alone.

I consider the flasher to have assaulted me. It was abuse because he left me in fear and this fear remained with me for the rest of the time I lived in that house. I felt shame and confusion — and was left with a feeling of unease and worry over my body and my safety.

2. I was flashed again as a young woman and I got him sent to prison.

Women need to get more angry about the sexual assault of women by men. It fractures our sense of safety in public spaces, and the idea ‘being flashed’ is not harmful or damaging is wrong.

Just because a man may not have laid his hands on you — the fact you have to endure the sight of his erect penis being masturbated without your consent is an assault on the eyes, mind and self of a woman.

The next time I endured sexual assault I was on a train in central London. I was in a quiet carriage and a man in what I would call ‘a Christmas jumper’ joined my carriage. It was strange because the carriage was empty — and usually Londers give each other space, but he sat down with his newspaper in front of me. This shows how long ago it was because now he would have simply had his phone. Which perhaps would not have provided him with as much cover.

His newspaper was rustling in his lap and he stared at me. I saw he was masturbating under it and had his erect penis fully exposed — facing me so I could get a clear view. I became very angry. I wanted to physically attacked him but it was only him and I in the carriage. So I started to stare intently at his face, his jumper, his hair, his shoes. This was so I could report him to the police and give a full description. He was clearly unnerved by this because he stopped, and rushed to the doors to get out as soon as they opened.

As he left I leaped up after him and started shouting that he was a pervert so he started to run. I chased him out of the train and along the platform where he ran up the escalator and I lost him.

I immediately went to the transport police office on the platform and made a statement, told them where he had run off to — and gave them a clear description of this man.

They caught him. I did a line up and identified him. The case went to court — and he at first was pleading innocent so it looked as if I would have to be a witness against him. In the reception area before the hearing I noticed him and his solicitor so I spent the time looking at him with as much disgust and revulsion as I could muster. He changed his plea to guilty. The reason he went to prison despite this plea is he had already physically sexually assaulted and flashed, a number of other women.

3. I was flashed when I was seven months pregnant with my first son.

This time I got an apology when I went after the ‘flashing man’. I was at the bus station in Nottingham, waiting for my Grandmother to arrive from Kent. It was virtually empty and I had gone to collect her from the bus, and I was about seven months pregnant with my first son.

Quite a young man approached me and as he got closer I could see he had taken his penis out and was masturbating. I said to him ‘you absolute fucking arsehole’. I was furious. I was sitting there minding my own business — heavily pregnant and this literal wanker had decided to assault me.

I was very angry. My fury startled him and he started to put himself away so I decided to go after him, shouting at him in disgust. He began to run, but I was slowed down by my advanced pregnancy. I shouted at him he should be ashamed of himself and that I was pregnant how dare he!

He turned back and said ‘I’m sorry I’m sorry’ so I shouted at him I’d get the police and that he was a fucking pervert. Don’t be sorry just don’t do it fucking arsehole.

I felt shaken, upset, violated and outraged. Who was this man and why did he have the right to make me feel violated when I was simply waiting for my Grandmother to arrive on a bus? I think it mattered in the end that he said sorry because I don’t feel as viscerally revolted and furious about this episode as I did the other two;

Flashing a child is unforgivable — and suggesting I was a liar by pleading ‘not guilty’ is also pretty disgusting.

If you happen to indulge in this type of behavior and you have had the good fortune to happen across this article, remember this; not all of us will simply look away in disgust and keep walking on. Sexually assaulting women’s peace of mind and safety is not a zero-sum game.

The next woman you assault may be me. And one of these days I won’t simply chase you — I’ll catch you. And when I do, then both you and your penis will be very, very sorry indeed.